Remembering the Oklahoma city bombing: Reflections on 30 years of healing and tragedy

As the 30th anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing approaches, survivors and families of victims reflect on the profound impact of one of the deadliest acts of domestic terrorism in U.S. history. April 19, 1995, changed the lives of those in Oklahoma City forever, and the scars of that day remain etched in the memories of those who lived through it. For many, the tragedy is a painful reminder of the senseless violence that took the lives of 168 people, including 19 children.

One of the most poignant stories to come from the bombing is that of PJ Allen, the youngest survivor. PJ was only 18 months old when the explosion occurred, leaving him with severe burns across his tiny body. His grandmother, Deloris Watson, vividly remembers the moment she realized her grandson had survived. "I knew every inch of that child," she said, recalling how she identified him in the hospital despite the extensive bandages. PJ, now 31, is a testament to resilience, having spent his life navigating the challenges brought on by the bombing.

The bombing took place when PJ’s grandmother, Deloris, had dropped him off at daycare in the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building. She had planned to meet with the daycare director to discuss PJ’s asthma diagnosis, but the appointment was canceled. Instead of returning to the building, she went to a nearby repair shop. At 9:02 a.m., she was driving when she heard the deafening explosion. The destruction of the building, home to the daycare center, signified a tragic loss of life.

Rescue workers scrambled to find survivors in the rubble, while others combed the streets for victims. Amidst the chaos, Deloris would later identify her grandson, whose survival was nothing short of miraculous. PJ Allen became one of the six "miracle babies" who survived the bombing, an experience that remains a significant part of his identity.

Despite the years that have passed, the events of that day continue to shape the lives of those who experienced it. For PJ, the trauma of the bombing is something he doesn't remember, but the emotional weight of his survival is undeniable. "I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want to remember what happened that day," he shared. "I’m sure that those who do remember wish, for some of the parts, they didn’t."

For many of the bombing’s survivors and families, the pain remains ever-present. Deloris, who raised PJ as her own son, finds solace in the knowledge that he is alive and thriving, even though the memories of that day are impossible to erase. "It’s the only life I’ve known," PJ said. "This is my normal."

For others, like Edye Raines, who lost her two young sons, the grief continues to manifest in subtle ways. Edye's children, Chase and Colton, were just 2 and 3 years old when they were killed in the bombing. She still feels their presence through small moments, like seeing their ages on license plates or noticing the time on her phone at 9:02 a.m. "I think those are little signs," she said.

Edye, who has since moved on to raise two other children, acknowledges the lasting impact the bombing has had on her life. She chooses not to hold onto hatred, instead focusing on gratitude and kindness. The Oklahoma City National Memorial, which stands as a tribute to the victims, provides her with a sense of peace. "The place is beautiful," Edye said. "Long after I’m gone, it’s still going to be there. So, their memories will stay alive."

The Oklahoma City National Memorial & Museum, located at the bombing site, has become a place of reflection and healing. Visitors, including school groups and survivors, come to honor those lost. One of the most powerful elements of the memorial is the Field of Empty Chairs, which commemorates each of the 168 victims with a chair engraved with their name. It serves as a reminder of the human lives lost in the bombing.

Dr. Susan Chambers, chair of the memorial’s foundation, emphasizes the importance of keeping the memory of the bombing alive for future generations. "People have to understand that violence is never the answer," she said. "We do so many things to try to make people understand that you don’t have a disagreement and then you do a senseless act of violence."

As the bombing’s anniversary approaches, those who survived continue to carry the memory of that day in their hearts, while also searching for meaning in their lives. For PJ, finding purpose is a key part of his healing journey. "I believe I’m really close," he said. "I’m trying to find a way to give back."

As the years pass, the Oklahoma City bombing remains a defining moment in American history, one that serves as both a painful reminder and a call to action. The resilience of the survivors and the strength of the community continue to inspire, ensuring that the victims’ memories are never forgotten.