Laverne Cox revisits childhood trauma for "Clean Slate": A journey through pain and healing

Laverne Cox’s latest project, Clean Slate, is more than just a new role—it’s a deeply personal exploration of her past. The Emmy-nominated actress, known for her groundbreaking performance in Orange Is the New Black, is stepping into a role that mirrors aspects of her own life, forcing her to confront painful memories in the process.

In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE, Cox, 52, revealed that she intentionally re-triggered herself to bring authenticity to her performance. Clean Slate, now streaming on Prime Video, follows Harry Slate (played by George Wallace), a traditionalist Alabama car wash owner whose estranged child returns home as a proud transgender woman named Desiree (Cox). When financial trouble forces Desiree to leave New York City and return to her childhood home, she must navigate the complexities of repairing her relationship with her father while confronting their clashing perspectives.

For Cox, this project wasn’t just about acting—it was about healing, even if it meant revisiting old wounds. “The gift of being an artist and going through horrible, awful stuff is that maybe I can use this in my work and show someone else that they’re not alone,” she shared.

Despite the opportunity for creative expression, Cox admitted that tapping into her past was not an easy process. “It was less cathartic and it wasn’t healing,” she explained. “It was triggering, almost every day.” Some of the most challenging moments involved filming scenes set in a church—an environment that stirred both positive and painful memories. Additionally, the set decoration for Desiree’s father’s house bore an uncanny resemblance to Cox’s mother’s home, intensifying the emotional weight of the experience.

“The South is in the air, in the space, in the mentality,” Cox said. “Trauma lives in our nervous systems. It’s physical, and a lot of it is preverbal, so that was all coming up.”

To cope, she relied on her acting coach and therapist. “Sometimes, to get to the truth of something really deep, raw, and catastrophic, to make that real, you have to re-traumatize yourself,” she said. “But the trick is knowing how to get out of it.”

While Clean Slate brought up painful memories, Cox hopes it will provide solace to those facing similar struggles. “If you have lived experiences that are challenging, you can give it to your art. And then, maybe the people who are watching, who may be experiencing the same thing, will understand they’re not alone. That cultivates empathy.”

Reflecting on her character, Cox described Desiree as a version of herself from two decades ago—someone still in the early stages of processing childhood trauma. “She’s where I was when I was first starting therapy, realizing just how deeply traumatizing my childhood was,” Cox said. “She’s more high-strung than I am now, but I think I was more high-strung back then, too.”

Despite the emotional challenges of revisiting her past, Cox remains hopeful that Clean Slate will not only entertain audiences but also help them feel seen. “I had to constantly remind myself, ‘I’m not 10 years old again. I’m not being bullied or harassed again. I’m an adult, and this is the present moment.”